And The Ones Who Had Loved Them The Most
by mihrsuri
Summary: George is not even sure he does notice what he does for it is only for a fleeting moment. [A pre January 1536 mutual pining story from a prompt by allegoriesinmediares - set in my Tudors OT3 AU verse]


George is not even sure he does notice what he does for it is only for a fleeting moment. It is when his sisters are still in France and he is simply one of the bright young favoured courtiers who surround the king. They are returning from a day of hunting and the heat is punishing - especially with the dust and so they have stopped by a clean pool to refresh themselves. There are a number of secretaries who have accompanied them on this trip - for the business of governing had been combined with hunting and therefore Wolsey had accompanied them on the return which meant that his new secretary did also.

At this time George only knows him as a presence - lean, dark haired and olive skinned with an accent that speaks of having lived in places other than England - but he admits he finds him handsome and so he is half watching him as they all begin to disrobe, appreciating the glimpse of skin. And it's then that he sees the king looking at the man as well. It's only a moment but it's such unconscious, unaware longing that it takes George back because surely, surely he would have noticed such a thing before? But then the expression is gone from the kings face and George is almost certain he imagined it.

Except that it happens again. After his sisters return from France and Anne falls in love with the King and he with her and he learns the secretary's name is Thomas Cromwell and that he is a reformer too. It is at a gathering they have together, just the three of them playing chess, with George standing to the side with Mary and he catches a glimpse of naked adoration and longing when he looks at the King laughing at something Cromwell has said as he picks up a chess piece and George is almost, almost certain it is the same way the King looks at his sister. Still looks at his sister. But then again, it is gone and it seems the King himself is unaware of what is going through his heart. Through his soul.

George wonders, sometimes, if he should say something. Anne has never minded that he has loved both men and women ("the lords greatest command is love, the rest is the scripture written by men - the reformation should mean we are free to seek different paths to Him" she had told him once) but she has always been adamant that her husbands heart should be hers alone. So he does not say anything.

It is harder to see in Anne, but there is a dance, one day when Cromwell chooses to dance and oh, oh George thinks as he watches them. They do not touch, they do not really look at each other but he can see the yearning in both of them. And yet, the world does not see it. And yet, the king, the king does not seem jealous. But then, George thinks, the King is not aware that he yearns for them both as well.

He thinks about saying something, but he does not, again.

When his niece is born he watches Thomas Cromwell become a father to her as much as the King and his sister are. He is almost, almost certain that all three of them - the King, the Queen and the Chancellor are tied together but he cannot know for sure. (Jane tells him later that he should have been sure, but she does so with laughter in her voice). But he does not speak of it.

The year that Anne miscarries her second child is a year that George is glad of Thomas Cromwell. Glad that whatever yearning there might be between them that remains unspoken he remains a stalwart for his sister for the King is not, not now. If George is feeling charitable he would say that Henry is scared, scared of the all encompassing nature of his loves, of what losing them might mean, of what giving them voice might mean so he loses himself in others but George is not feeling especially charitable towards Henry, who is more and more disregarding his beloved sister for others.

He will also admit that he loathes Jane Seymour, for all his sisters do not. And he watches the three of them - Cromwell, Anne & Henry in their dance and he cannot help but roll his eyes for how can they not see it, what is between them?

It hurts. It hurts long after the physical symptoms have passed. Anne can still feel her child, finds herself sometimes dreaming that her belly still swells and has to choke back tears as she wakes. And Henry, Henry does not come to her, does not console her. Instead he seems to want to lose himself in the arms of other women, to avoid her eyes and her touches as though Anne is tainted now, somehow, with this loss and grief.

It is Thomas who finds the words where no one else can. It is Thomas, her Thomas who she realises she loves as much and as deeply as Henry, who gives her comfort and it is almost too cruel, Anne thinks, that this man has caught my heart too for I can never let him know it. But she cannot not love him, not for the world and so she takes what she can.

Thomas and Anne do not touch, not after the first time they held each other hands in the aftermath of Anne's miscarriage and both felt something they thought the other did not. But they are present together, always. Our hearts are together, Thomas thinks and then scolds himself for such fancies but he cannot but help thinking it, even though there is no hope.

I am in love with them both, he thinks, looking at the King and the Queen and he wishes, oh he wishes Henry could return to his Queen, could face his own terrors. Thomas does not dare to voice his other dreams but they are there, there as they have been since he realised in a moment by a river and then over a dinner. I will be theirs, he thinks, even if it can never be.

Henry, Henry watches his Queen and his Chief Minister dance and he cannot admit it, but it is a beautiful picture, the two of them. He turns back to his latest mistress, trying to hide from himself once again because he cannot bear to think on it. Cannot bear the idea that if he embraced them, he could lose them. So he has pushed it away but he finds that, no matter what he does he cannot stop looking at the two of them dancing, though they do not touch.

They are entirely proper and yet somehow, it is the most alluring thing Henry has seen even if he cannot admit it.


End file.
